Rewards (AKA Jelly Belly Jelly Beans)

We have been trying a new reward system with Gabe: the “Manners Jar”. Gabe earns one jelly bean for every time he answers (without being prompted) “yes Ma’am” or “yes Sir” and quickly obeys what we ask him to do. So far, it’s working GREAT! He’s so motivated by rewards :). It even helps with his bedtime routine and naps, because if he earns one right before bed he knows he will get it when he wakes up only if he’s good. So he goes right to bed and stays there! Life with a sometimes “strong-willed” three-year-old was getting tiring and I was sick of time-outs and counting to 3, so I borrowed ideas from Michelle Duggar and Lisa Whelchel about speaking softly and rewarding good behavior instead of just using punishments all the time. We haven’t done away with punishments all together, but they are few and far between – which is wonderful! I hope Gabe is building lasting habits which won’t disappear once the rewards are phased out. We shall see. For now, we will just enjoy the sweet rewards of implementing this fun new system :). Fun fact: Gabe likes the brown and pink jelly beans the best (brown is still his favorite color, but he has added pink as a favorite so he can be like Mommy and Julia). My favorite Jelly Belly Jelly Bean flavors are “Juicy Pear”, “Buttered Popcorn”, “Top Banana” and “Toasted Marshmallow”. Julia doesn’t eat them, Chris likes them all :).

“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Ephesians 6:2-3

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8 Responses to Rewards (AKA Jelly Belly Jelly Beans)

  1. Emily April 28, 2010 at 9:50 am

    We started rewards last week for pottying (yes we are still struggling with potty). At our house it is candy corn. I need to try it for other things too!!

    • Jess April 28, 2010 at 9:57 am

      Our plan is to focus on one or two behaviors at a time. Once he has them down, we can start rewarding new behaviors. I just hope he keeps the original ones even when he’s not getting the rewards…

  2. Jess April 26, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    Who knew you’d have so much information about the Duggars and TV network practices ;)!

    I sent you more details about our vacation in an email :).

  3. Mara April 26, 2010 at 11:48 am

    Sounds like a great idea! You might want to be cautious of Michelle Duggar’s ideas in some respects, though. The Duggars are devout follows of Bill Gothard/ATI, who is punitive enough to make James Dobson look like a hippie . . . whenever she uses the word “correct” in her book, what she’s omitting is that it involves a fair amount of pain for the baby or child.

    Caleb is also “spirited” (I prefer that to ‘strong willed’ ;-), and two great authors on that topic are Mary Sheedy Kurcinka and Sally Clarkson. :-)

    • Jess April 26, 2010 at 1:30 pm

      I don’t know Michelle Duggar personally, so I don’t know what she does for correction. I do admire the gentle, loving way I have seen her act toward her kids on TV, even in stressful situations! I didn’t get a chance to finish the book yet, but I love her ideas about rewards so far. I also think the family guidelines they strive to live by are wonderful :).

      Thanks for the book recommendations!

      • Mara April 26, 2010 at 1:40 pm

        I know several moms who like her in general but veer far away from her discipline ideas. From what I understand the network airing the shows has been careful about editing out certain things they feel could cost them their audience. When do you leave for vacation?

  4. Mom April 26, 2010 at 10:15 am

    Jelly Bellies always make me think of Sarah! I’m so glad this is working well for y’all. I’ve noticed a difference.

    Love you bunches! Mom

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